Breaking Point: Letter to Myself

005

G’won then, do one.  Do it.  Do what it is that you been thinking, that thing that haunts you everytime you sit thoughtless in the lone hours of the morning and the night.  End it and then that’ll be that.  The taunting will stop, the hate will stop, the racism will be no more, the people won’t stare.  Imagine it, a peace like you’ve never known.  Alone, in the dark, quiet, finally.  So?  What are you waiting for?  That’s it.  You’re waiting for me to okay this decision, I won’t.  I could but I won’t.  That’s right, that’s it, let it fall.  Let it fall down and stream down that piece of you that listens to it all.  Let go, get suicidal with that part of you that absorbs all the hate.  Look at me!  I love you.  I love it when you get nervous, though you’d never show it.  I love it when you get so angry when people don’t understand that you’re trying to help, trying to just be yourself.  Get angry.  Get honest. Get broken.  Let yourself be broken.  You have to.  Strength isn’t free.  Freedom isn’t free.  Courage isn’t free.  Get broken, sweetie, then get over it, get up, go forward.  Remember, always, I love you.  Now, get up.

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