Breaking Point: Letter to Myself

005

G’won then, do one.  Do it.  Do what it is that you been thinking, that thing that haunts you everytime you sit thoughtless in the lone hours of the morning and the night.  End it and then that’ll be that.  The taunting will stop, the hate will stop, the racism will be no more, the people won’t stare.  Imagine it, a peace like you’ve never known.  Alone, in the dark, quiet, finally.  So?  What are you waiting for?  That’s it.  You’re waiting for me to okay this decision, I won’t.  I could but I won’t.  That’s right, that’s it, let it fall.  Let it fall down and stream down that piece of you that listens to it all.  Let go, get suicidal with that part of you that absorbs all the hate.  Look at me!  I love you.  I love it when you get nervous, though you’d never show it.  I love it when you get so angry when people don’t understand that you’re trying to help, trying to just be yourself.  Get angry.  Get honest. Get broken.  Let yourself be broken.  You have to.  Strength isn’t free.  Freedom isn’t free.  Courage isn’t free.  Get broken, sweetie, then get over it, get up, go forward.  Remember, always, I love you.  Now, get up.

Hate is a Curse Word

I had to explain to my 9-year-old bi-racial daughter 2 days ago that telling people she isn’t a “cigany” just so they will feel safe around her, is wrong.  Why did I have to tell her this?  Here we are in this Hungarian village where color is seen as being equivalent to crime, poverty, and stupidity.  It shouldn’t matter what her color or ethnicity is.  So, now my daughter thought it was okay to say that she wasn’t one race in order to be accepted by another race.  THAT’S what she’s learned here.  Then, she goes to school and the whispers and lies begin.  My friends back home are worried for our safety, I’m not.  I’m worried for my sanity because if I don’t get out of here soon, I KNOW something I don’t want to happen, will happen.

I am registered…

I am registered Republican. I only seem liberal because I believe that hurricanes are caused by high barometic pressure and not gay marriage. – William McAvoy

From the new show on HBO.  I gotta find it somewhere.  I can tell this is gonna be too funny…and seriously of the times.